It finally happened.

So, I've moved.
From living in Kent with my family to living Northampton with my boyfriend and his family.
We'd been together a year and 2 months when the big moved actually happened and of course, i had doubts.
Can you really be yourself around other peoples family? Even if that family is of the man you plan to spend the rest of your life with?
I guess I'll always have those little doubts but I wouldn't have done this if i wasn't sure this was for the best
It's been a month since I moved and admittedly, I have had some emotional homesick nights where I just cry at missing my family and familiarity.
But other than that, it's been wonderful. Having been together over a year and only seeing each other at weekends, seeing eachother everyday is... heavenly.
The past month that I've been here I haven't had a job, but Monday I had an interview for a local newspaper as an Advertisement Telesales Person and damnnnnnnittt I GOT THE JOB :D:D
Things have been a little strained between me and the bf since i've been moping round the house all day waiting for him to come home, but now I'll be working it'll be almost perfect.

Our room was fully decorated before i moved in however the curtains are yet to go up :/ He says it'll happene tonight but who knows.
I just feel... old you know. Like being away from my parents, only being able to see them at weekends now and relying on basically myself; when before I could always count on my parents.


And for anyone who reads this blog, I really am sorry for not really blogging here. Something it's better to just think. But I will be posting alot more often about the goings on in my new life in Northampton.

Sigh..

I miss you.
Like so desperately, you're only going to be gone for 13 days but still you're over 400 hundred miles away and it's too much.
I want it to be october now, for us to spend every day together. But more importantly every night together.
For you to be the last thing i see at night and the first thing i see in the morning. I just cannot wait.
I love you, more than life it's self.
We'll be together again soon my love, and for that day i can wait.

total headfuck.

i'm so mad right now that i can't even be bothered to change the font size, colour or whatthefuckever.
seriously, the only way i think i'll feel okay is if i vent on here and i have writers block.
great.
but whoever reads this should take a listen to 23 by Jimmy Eat World.

i know there's something going on.. i'm not stupid, womens intuition.
but i feel like such a mug, butterflies and stuff.
is this it?
is this the final lap of the race?
i hardly feel like myself.
i gave my heart away and now.. now i'm not myself. i'm someone elses and i feel like i'm gonna be sick.

Okay, okay..

So, it's been like literal forever since i last wrote but fellow followers you surely can understand that sometimes.. sometimes a girl can hardly think about her life, but to blog about it?! Surely not. At the moment, it's a pure and simple "fuck my life". My boyfriend and the love of my life is a weekend only affair, because we're 100 miles apart (neither of our decisions) and even though most nights i have nothing to talk about i just love being just that little bit closer to him if it only is on the phone, I have £1.20 in my account; if that. I have no job, I don't go to school, college or uni and i hardly ever get to see my friends because that always requires money.

Now, if that doesn't want to make you wanna kill yourself.. Then i bloody well don't know what will.
Oh, and my younger sister stole the laces out of my Converse to use as a make shift belt and threw them in the bin.
:

I need nude/barely there coloured things in my life to put a smile on my face.

My own (irrational) heartbreak.

You know, i think it's possible to love someone too much..
I mean my god.. It's breaking my heart at the thought of not being with him.
He might not understand how i blow things out of proportion and get overly paranoid and basically everything a girl does.. But i'm just so scared of losing him.
The way i'm going.. I probably will.



The first time i've posted in over a month and i'm being emo.. Typical.

It's about time

that i started writing again.
Lately i've been stressed, snappy and restless.. sleeping when i shouldn't and vise versa.
I go on holiday in.. 6 days though :D Rest and relaxation, well during the day atleast.
In the evening, it'll be vodka/redbulls, shots and god knows what.. It cheers me up that i can still have fun though and not worry about spending too much money.
I appriciate everything my parents give me and i love them so much for it.

But recently, my spending has got a bit out of control :/
My new faze is make-up.. after reading all the beauty blogs and watching them all on YouTube, i now confess that i am addicted to buying, using and testing different make up brands.
My sister tells me i have "life long problems" AHA!
i have to thank lollipop26 for sharing her views and tips on beauty and make up products and really getting me into it, she's amazing.. we could all learn so much from her :)
I hope you all have a wonderful Sunday and have enjoyed your weekend x

Baby, when the lights go out..

It's been like 5 days since i last wrote, or typed even.
All over the South-East area of London was affected by power cuts and my electricity was fine.. Just not the internet, Sky or phone :/
So i've practically been cut off from the world and watching cooking programmes on ITV does not make up for that.
At all.

However, it's 4 weeks exctly tomorrow until i go on holiday :D South of France here i come!
I feel i should start packing now, or atleast start making a few lists of thing i must buy before the holiday.. Deep hair conditioner, dry shampoo etc.
Fuck the sun cream, i'll never get a colour otherwise.
But the highlight of my holiday is Saint-Tropez, almost better than New York (shopping wise)
If only i had the dollar to shop in Louis Vuitton, D&G and the masses of sunglasses boutiques.. Sadly, i do not.
But on the plus side, i am completely and utterly rid of swine flu and feeling much better for it :)
My two sisters had suspected swine flu but they were better after a few days, thank god.

I'm still listening to Owl City and have even got my younger sister into them; and neither of us are sick of them yet.
But we are sick of "Jeggings".. The most unflattering things since actual jeans. Please refrain from buying them if your over 6 stone.
I'm off to watching Harry Potter and The Half Blood Prince online now.. Admittedly, Harry Potter (the book and the films) are the only thing that make me happy nowadays.. How sad i know.. But my explanation is for another time.
Ciao.