Thursday, 22 March 2012

You've got my life in the palm of your hands

I'm spending alot of money at the moment.
And I think I'm in denial of how much.
And it's not because there's thing that I want but because I'm forcing myself to be happy.
Buying and owning new things have always made me happy but it's now gotten to the point where I see something moderately nice and before I know it, I'm waiting in a queue eyeing up other thing they strategically put by the tills.
I'm sitting up to gone midnight on varies between websites, justing pilling things in to my "Buy it Now" basket... Just to take my mind of how truely unhappy I am.
I miss my boyfriend, every single minute of the day and I can only wonder why I moved back home, away from him?
I know it's childish but life is so unfair. I hate my job and where I am in my life and everything I seem to do is to make someone else happy.
I just don't know what I'm doing... I need something to happen to tell me what to do because I'm so damn scared of making a mistake.

Anyone else feel like this? Because I have never felt more alone.


  1. We all turn to things to make ourselves feel 'better' about a certain situation. But until you deal with the issue it will always remain. And when there's something you want so much, you'll find a way to be happy. :)

  2. i have the very same issue! my worst site is ebay, constantly buying gifts for myself and my boyfriend as we live miles apart also.
    He in wales, and me in Coventry. I feel your pain and you can only try to remain possitive. That things will work out the way they are planned unless your willing to change them.
    But remember, there is always a silver lining


  3. Stop being worried about making a mistake, and stop being lost and unhappy. YOU need to make a change not us strangers on the internet.
    Until recently I worked in fucking Mc Donlads, I hunted and hunted and hunted for a year before I got another job.
    Use you amazing talent to write, and be happy that your boyfriend loves you and cherishes you!